Ramblin' wo'MAN

I have for the past 48 hours been up loading my pictures from my computer onto Snapfish. My hard drive is about to crash from all 20,000 plus photos that I have attained over the years. I have 85% of my memory all used up. I am hoping taking the pictures off of it will be the remedy. I as well am going to invest in an external hard drive. 

Yesterday I spent well over 100 bucks at our local consignment shop. (Heaven's Angel's) I adore that place. I do purchase new clothing for my children. But there is no shame in making purchase of good, used clothing. Hell, I have five children to clothe, feed and shelter. I have to budget! Course anyone would do well with a budget. I would love to have all the money in the world to be able to take my children to exotic places and buy any thing at a whim that their heart desires. I would like to be able to do those things. However, if it were so, I do not think it would be helping them. It would not teach them a value of a dollar. It would turn them spoiled like a moldy banana. The bright side of having that kind of money would be no worries of finances. However it be, I am most content with my life at the moment. I count my blessings and boy do I have many of!

This morning upon arriving back home from dropping the children off at school it came to my surprise that my darling Lee had made the bed and started a load of laundry for me before he left for work. As I stated on Facebook, I have the world's most precious husband! I have never been loved like this before. I cannot even begin to explain the love that I have for Lee. It is mind baffling and I cannot get my head around it. We took a trip out of town Wednesday to pick up my new wedding set and to do a bit of Mall Shopping. A perfect stranger came up to me and announced that she rarely see's affection surrounding couples now days. She told me she see's the love Lee and I have for one another! She told me that it was beautiful and precious. And a rare treat to see such a thing. I just beamed with glee! Someone gets it! A stranger! One person who has never met Lee and I saw the love we have for each other. Now that is something grand. Lee and I have been married now two years. We have known each other for coming on five years. Still yet, our love has not once faded. We met on line years ago. I don't want to bore you with all the details of. But I am going to! :)

It all started back in Yahoo Chat. Christian chat 20 or possibly 22. We caught glimpse of each others conversations with other chatters. And soon began talking with one another. This was back in 2004-2005. I left the internet for a good year after that due to first marriage difficulties. When arriving back on line 12 months after and signed up for Yahoo 360, there was a post left from unbelievablythickgloves aka Lee on my blog. "Are you sweetkimmie2u from chat?" I responded of course with a yes because that is who I am. And it dawned on me it was the Lee that I had thought about for months and months. We picked back up as if it were yesterday chatting away. (I was still married at the time. Though my marriage was going down the drain straight to hell in a picnic basket) (I knew divorce was knocking at my door) We continued on with our chats as my then at the time husband and I decided to separate. Soon after Lee wanted to meet up with me and put a reality face with the webcam face. We talked on the phone lots before meeting up. I took a friend with me to meet him. We met half way as he lived in Texas and I in Kansas. It was the most perfect weekend ever for me! It all exploded into a beautiful mess there after. This time I will not go into details as some things are just too personal for the internet and as well I do not need the whole world seeing my dirty laundry. (Just to note that my first failed marriage was both "his" and my fault. I don't put all the blame on him. I had my moments too)  I soon was divorced and Lee and I took hands and led ourselves forward. We married February 14th 2009. Our first year of marriage was rocky! More than rocky! More like a treacherous hike up the most tallest, foot breaking mountain. We had many slips and falls. Mostly due to some errors on my part. I shall not name those either. But just know that Lee is one forgiving man. Not many people would forgive something like this and no I did not cheat on Lee. I never ever would! Period! It involved a lie and I will keep at that. A mega of mega lies! Nonetheless, we battled for our marriage. All came clear. The air is clean and nothing is holding us back now. I believe the trial and tribulation we went through was a test of our love for each other and by golly we passed with flying colors! Our marriage has never been better and it keeps getting better with each passing day. I strive to make my husband happy. I strive to do the best I can and to give it my all to keep us together. During our tribulation and trial, Lee told me love was never an issue. Trust was. Trust is a huge thing. It is! We have to prove ourselves to our spouse even if things seem perfect. We have to lay it all out on that table! Marriage is not to be taken lightly. It is not a fairy tale. It is real! It is not perfect. But if you strive to have it be then you are on the right track. For another note: Lee was 25 when we got married. What 25 year old man would marry a woman who has four children from a previous marriage? Not many if any! If you don't know Lee you should get to know him. Then you will know what kind of man he is that I am talking about. I don't think he has even one enemy. He is an array of everything good! He makes me feel like a person. A human being. A woman. A princess. LOVED! He is perfect in my eyes. 

At this point in my life (which is very new to me with a little thanks to my therapist and huge thanks to my sweetpea husband) I don't give a rat's ass what anyone thinks about me. I was once a bitter, mean bitch that would kick the shit out of anyone that crossed me. All that matters to me is the happiness of my Lee and my children. Of course the mean part was before my children even existed. After I had them I softened up quite a bit. Though the bitterness was still there from my childhood and from my first marriage. Lee has turned my bitterness into the sweetest of sweets. But maybe that ass kicking Kimmie is still here. Though with restraint and reservations as I don't want to end up in prison. 

My little owl is now waking from his nap and I shall end this with a smile.

~Kimmie~